Wow! My first real anonymous message!! :)
When we moved from Alaska almost four years ago, my husband and I decided to buy our own home and I...
I used to love sleep, now I fear it. Because if I can actually get into a comfortable position, I fear the painful calf and shin cramps that could come get me without warning in the middle of the night. BABY NEEDS OUT SOON, this sucks. I want my body back.
My husband and I do an annual event called Ski to Sea here in WA. It’s a relay race from the top of a mountain to the bay in Bellingham, WA. It’s a fantastic event with a team of 8, each person doing a different event (xc ski, downhill ski, run, road bike, 2 person canoe, mountain bike, kayak)
I’m usually the runner but because running has been out for me since week 17, I figured canoeing with John wouldn’t be too bad, we’ve rowed in a canoe over significant distances in the past without much trouble and have enjoyed it.
My team has NEVER flipped a canoe, they’re usually so hard to flip, but the river was running pretty fast and high and we had no experience in the canoe that we were borrowing from a friend. Five miles into our 18.5 mile row we both leaned to take a stroke on the right side of the boat and suddenly we’re in the water.
It was a shock at first, and then I started freaking out. We were going at a good clip and had only been passed by two competitive teams, with no one else really around us and we weren’t in any area that had anything besides bushes. I thought we were going to be in the water for a very long time and that me and the baby would die of hypothermia. (no over reactions over here).
John had gotten the boat to flip back over on its side but it was filled with water. A competitive team caught up to us about 2 mins after we flipped and helped push us to a little portion of a bank. Luckily we had John’s dry wool shirt in our dry sack and my down vest, so I was able to strip off all my wet tops and put those on, my pants were nylon hiking pants that dry very quickly, so while I was a little cold, I wasn’t freezing. I figured I was done and didn’t want to finish the race but once we got back on the water and I realized it would probably be more difficult to try to get ourselves and the boat out of the river and back to the house I decided just finishing our portion of the race, no matter how slow, would be the best option.
We finished our leg in 2:47, which was super slow on a fast moving river, placing 410th, 52nd out of 56 in our division (ouch). We survived (obviously) and the baby is alive and well, so besides some bruises on my legs from the boat, everything is fine.
I did have a moment of “why the hell would I do this while 6 months pregnant?” regret, but the risk wasn’t all that severe. While the water was cold, we were actually not too shocked because it had been raining most of the morning while we waited to go, so we were already a bit chilled so the temperature difference wasn’t extreme.
The only causality was my iPhone that had been in my pocket and not in the dry bag. We’ve put it in rice and it just turned on, so we’ll see what it can do, but I don’t have a lot of hope.
I’m not really into the idea of PEPS groups (Program for Early Parent Support) and often state my reason as “I don’t like other moms/parents” which can obviously come off as offensive. I don’t actually mean it like, “if you are a mom or a parent I don’t like you.” What I usually mean is that I don’t like the way a lot of moms interact with each other, and I don’t feel the need or want to expand my social group beyond the parents I already know and am friends with. This may be small minded, but this portion of an infograph from happify may it explain my feelings a little better:
Full infograph found here: http://my.happify.com/hd/what-you-should-know-about-moms-and-happiness/
This is all horrifying.
And not exactly surprising, which makes it all the worse.
I’m an AU alum, these guys were/are scum. I’m happy I had too much going on to ever have any reason to associate with them.
I hate this video:
I’ve seen it go by 4 times so far on my facebook newsfeed, knowing full well that it will blow up tomorrow and through the next week, with all sorts of #loveyoumom #bestmomintheworld TAG mom, #LOVEYOU.
But let’s pause a second. What mother is actually required to do ALL of these things listed? I fully understand that there are a lot of single mamas out there, and they have a lot of weight on their shoulders, I mean no disrespect there. They do have a lot of these responsibilities solely on themselves (though I’ll also argue they get support from grandparents and sometimes others)
But my thought is that the women in my feed who are patting themselves on their backs, should look around and gain some perspective. All have supportive spouses, who I can imagine take on at least some of these duties.
Parenting is tough, I don’t have to be a parent (yet) to know that, but you know what? When you see those double lines you know you’re in for a ride, you’ve signed up for this shit (most of the time, and I mean literally, there is a lot of literal shit to deal with when you’re a parent), and you know from the get-go that you are now responsible for this alien creature growing inside you, and you’re pretty much responsible for it for the rest of your life.
To call it the World’s Toughest Job? I don’t know. I think there’s tougher ones out there, (Actually I made a couple of shows about it: http://www.amazon.com/Endurance-HD/dp/B0085AE8DW) and by making moms into martyrs we’re not doing women or men who choose to go the parenting route any favors. Parenting is not a job, it’s a long term decision one makes in life, it’s a change in lifestyle and PART of the lives of those who chose to take it on. Some do it terribly, some do many of the things listed in this ad, but I think it’s very rare to find a woman (or man) who fits this “job description” seen in the video perfectly.
Videos like this continue the downward spiral of women being pigeon-holed into this “perfect-mom” role that’s unobtainable. And to that I say, fuck off.
One of our to-do items over the weekend was to start looking into baby schools/ infant care to start getting on waitlists in the city (This is my life now?). Being the natural researcher I am, I wanted to look up the head of a school that’s very close to our house.
I found a craigslist ad that listed that the daycare was looking for teachers. The salary listed was $11.50-$13.50 which legitimately shocked me. In a state looking to raise minimum wage to $15 a hour (which I 100% support) I cannot BELIVE that people I’m to trust my infant with make that little. The school I was looking at wasn’t a chain, so I decided to looking into Bright Horizons, and start looking for salary info for their teachers, glassdoor.com states that they’re just under $14 an hour. WHAT?! This is outrageous. I know daycare isn’t cheap, and a lot of these places come with nice benefits for the teachers, but it just seems like they’re not being paid enough.
It’s going to be hard to decide what to do when/if I’m ready to go back to work.